This is not a Star Wars 7 trailer review. That would be pointless and stupid. This is ALSO pointless and stupid, but it’s not a Star Wars 7 trailer review.
No one seems to be talking about Star Wars on Twitter, which probably makes sense, since I don’t follow a bunch of 12 year olds. Still, I want to talk about Star Wars. If only there were some place I could write about things I’m thinking… Oh yes, my blog, which shares many similarities with a cat in a box, and a tree falling over in the woods… and a hmm, sound of one hand clapping? (That was a close call, almost missed my obligatory rule-of-three in the opening self-deprecation.)
So, first, my thoughts on the story. Don’t worry, no spoilers here. I have no idea what will happen. My guess, however, is that the story will borrow heavily from historical themes, particularly the fall of the Roman Empire. If this is the case, then I guess the Force gets to play the part of Christianity (Surprise! Oh, you knew that, right), which would mean Palpatine was an allegory for Constantine? Nope. The correct figure for Constantine would be Luke, I believe.
This would create some immediate traction for the next chapters of the Star Wars story. Luke ends the persecution of the Jedi by the empire. This does not ‘end’ the Empire. It would clearly have much too much momentum to simply cease because an Emperor died, and the Barbarians sacked Rome, err, the Rebels destroyed the Death Star. Yeah, I know that’s not exactly what happened when Constantine came to power… its allegory, roll with it.
Anyway, I would expect Emperor Luke attempts to create a glorious new capital, separate from the perfidious influences of Rome, err Coruscant. So, where does he build this glorious NEW capital… well, Tattooine is an obvious pick. Perhaps, perhaps not (I sure didn’t see Yavin 4 in that trailer, did you?). In any event, if they pick Naboo, Meesa be walking the hell out of the theater. Parallel spheres of influence are bound to arise, as his Sister takes her logical place as the ‘secular’ leader of the Empire, based on Coruscant, while he strives to ‘save’ Jedi lore at a New temple on Tattooine.
I can’t really see Leia and Luke having a true rivalry and falling out, though that is the natural way of split empires, but many years have passed, and new generations arise. If they have the ‘enemy’ arise from an external source, I will be sorely disappointed. In the constant yin-yang struggle of the Skywalkers, clearly another Dark rising is due. My bet is it’s still one of Solo’s kids… yes, that sounds familiar… they didn’t say they’d be tossing out ALL the post-7 story, just that it wasn’t canon… so, assuming they scrap the divine twin thing, which has been done to death already. It’s up to a cousin from Tattooine to set things straight.
So, how does that mesh with the Star Wars Trailer…
Ok, opening scene of trailer, confused/scared guy in part of a stormtrooper costume, but plainly not a Fett clone, crash lands in Constantinople/Tattooine. Why? To warn the Jedi Council (if there are enough to make a council) about trouble on Coruscant. I will assume the first to recognize the threat is r2d-squared, who rushes off to tell Luke. Luke is not convinced, but just in case, sends young Jedi trainee to scout things out in the Millennium Falcon, while he pulls out his old favorite x-wings to be ready for trouble. Why does Luke have the Millennium Falcon…ok. Twins it is, so non-evil solo daughter rushes out to stop big bro from going all multi-red saber… so too late for that.
All of this will be completely wrong, of course… just like every Not-stra-dumb-ass prediction I make. Anyway, my blog… whattya gonna do? Hopefully, waste some time commenting with your thoughts….