No, I won’t check out your new blog post!

It’s nothing personal.  Really, I like you.  That’s why I follow you on Twitter. You’re funny, interesting, and/or show cleavage on your avatar picture.  Who wouldn’t like you?  Honestly, though, I don’t want to read your blog.  I don’t want to read anyone else’s blog.  You know what I want?  I want other people to read MY blog.  So sometimes I read your blog, try to drop a quick comment into the hat, and hope you feel guilted into stopping in and reading mine.  How fucked up is that?  I’m totally guilt-commenting your blog.

Why don’t I want to read your blog?  It’s not your blog, actually.  It’s you.  Oh my god, blah blah blah, every 2 hours; Check out my NEW blog entry! Really?  It’s new?  It’s not the same one you told me to look at 2 hours ago?  It seems the same.  In fact, the message to check it out, looks pretty much the same.  You’re smothering me.  That’s it.  I didn’t want to tell you, but it’s true.  I need room.  I want to go out and see other people on the internet.  Other people without blogs.

Look, don’t be upset.  I don’t want to stop reading your blog forever.  I just need a break.  We can still be Facebook friends.  Someday, I’m going to subscribe to your blog, and I’ll read it every day, even days you don’t post a new blog post.  I’ll comment on everything, and I’ll retweet your ‘Check out my blog’ posts on Twitter.  For now, though, I need to be free.  I have one request before you go, though.  If you wouldn’t mind, I was hoping you might #ff me to your friends.  Maybe they’d like to come over and read my blog, too.

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