It’s nothing personal. Really, I like you. That’s why I follow you on Twitter. You’re funny, interesting, and/or show cleavage on your avatar picture. Who wouldn’t like you? Honestly, though, I don’t want to read your blog. I don’t want to read anyone else’s blog. You know what I want? I want other people to read MY blog. So sometimes I read your blog, try to drop a quick comment into the hat, and hope you feel guilted into stopping in and reading mine. How fucked up is that? I’m totally guilt-commenting your blog.
Why don’t I want to read your blog? It’s not your blog, actually. It’s you. Oh my god, blah blah blah, every 2 hours; Check out my NEW blog entry! Really? It’s new? It’s not the same one you told me to look at 2 hours ago? It seems the same. In fact, the message to check it out, looks pretty much the same. You’re smothering me. That’s it. I didn’t want to tell you, but it’s true. I need room. I want to go out and see other people on the internet. Other people without blogs.
Look, don’t be upset. I don’t want to stop reading your blog forever. I just need a break. We can still be Facebook friends. Someday, I’m going to subscribe to your blog, and I’ll read it every day, even days you don’t post a new blog post. I’ll comment on everything, and I’ll retweet your ‘Check out my blog’ posts on Twitter. For now, though, I need to be free. I have one request before you go, though. If you wouldn’t mind, I was hoping you might #ff me to your friends. Maybe they’d like to come over and read my blog, too.