PMP World

“PMP World”
Sung to music of
Primadonna Girl
by Marina & the Diamonds.

Projects rule the World, yeah
Unique creations, temporary work
A sponsor’s charter starts the ball
Initiates the project, funds it all
Might seem like there is too much there to cope
But you’ll find it’s all defining scope
Stakeholders contribute expertise
but you’ll need a team of worker bees.

PMP World,
Did you capture requirements?
Breakdown the work to its components?
Baseline to gauge project performance?
Define all the tasks in a Breakdown dictionary.
Network Diagram and Gannt charting
You need both for the scheduling.
If you find a path is critical,
then any setbacks there are such a big deal, yo.
Simulate with Monte Carlo-lo-
Assess the risk and control-ol-ol-
Every creep, wanting more more more
Control and Monitor
‘Cause it’s a PMP World, yeah
Requires Integrated Change Control
A board can help review new needs
Stakeholders always seem to want it all
They might say you’re just a big mean dope
But in truth you’re just controlling scope
They’ll thank you when you meet the milestones
Deliverables are how you make your bones.
It’s a very risky world
Mitigate, Insure, Accept, Avoid
Manage risk, using all the toys
Get what you want by HR Management
Most authority is in a Strong Project Matrix
Functional; lim’ted authority
Ask them nicely, say pretty please.
When you think that it’s all a go…
You probably should assess all your quality control
Pareto shows it going down, down, down
Same defects coming round, round, round
Histo-spread make you frown, frown, frown
Cause; Ishikawa found!
‘Cause Closing’s what we need, yeah
All they ever wanted was the world
They’ll accept if scope is on
Charter will define our rise or fall
We knew that it might be difficult
Hopefully, our planning pulled it off.
Now the projects over, we escape?
but we find there’s still one final phase!
End of our project world, yeah
Document, archive what we have learned
Program office needs a call
Procurements are complete, let’s close them all.
All goodbyes are kinda difficult
But we’ll release resources at the halt
At least we made sure everybody’s paid
Close the curtain as the spotlights fade.
PMP World